Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize