Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where is the hickey?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
