The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
