Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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