I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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