doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
