I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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