idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
