So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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