I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
