You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
