Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
