Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
