She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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