I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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