When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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