Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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