We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize