u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
