Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
