Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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