hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
