What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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