holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I will be naked everywhere
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
