she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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