I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
