I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
