Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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