Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
