Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
NoShamevember. You game?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
