Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
