even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
