Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this boner is exhausting
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
MIDGETS
????
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
