Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
