He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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