so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I want a musical about memes.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
