btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
