You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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