I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man