yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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