so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
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First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?