god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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