i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
