She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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