All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
as a side note pls kill me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
