I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
