What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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