that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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