Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
