I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
