She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
