I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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