dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
