I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!