At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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