i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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