I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
