Who did Billy Mays play for?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize