I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
