I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
