alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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